Essay: Women need their voices heard in comedy. Here’s what we’re doing about that
By Lisa Rossi, BPC staff writer
When I first was told by a psychiatrist I had bipolar disorder 2, I was ashamed. I cried. There would be a stigma.
Now I make money off of the information, slinging jokes on stage about how my medication is so effective in moderating my moods, I never have to worry about my adolescent boys busting in my bedroom and stealing it for a quick high. “Hey guys, want to get boring? Want to go to bed at 8 and wake up at 8? Want to watch old episodes of ‘Saturday Night Live’ under your weighted blanket? Want to eat soup?” Big laughs. Every. Single. Time. I recently did a headliner gig in Yankton, S.D., and that joke delivered the goods.
It was a painful journey to get to this joke and I’ve needed the company and comfort of other comics to help get me ready to talk about this in public.
And lately, I’ve felt I needed not just other comics, but women comics. I recently got together with two other women to reinvigorate the comedy scene with women’s voices. There used to be many. A lot of the female energy in the Des Moines comedy scene went away, and we didn’t know why. Comedy has long been a male-dominated affair and it’s no different in Des Moines. And it’s hard getting up there and spilling your guts. It’s a little easier with friends in your affinity group sitting in the audience rooting you on.
I can’t take the credit. I was invited to be a part of this by Kate Thompson, from Urbandale. She named it Bit by Bit after the idea of meeting people where they are at.
“They are working on their bits [jokes] and progressing to the next step,” Thompson said. “So sort of continuous improvement.”
Thompson invited fellow Des Moines comic Mel Mackey, who recently was named the Funniest Person in Iowa at an annual contest in Cedar Rapids, and me to join her in this quest to bring in more female and non-binary energy to the comedy scene. This is no knock on the guys. Both women and male comics have been my lifeline in this crazy art form, offering me support, new ideas and sometimes protection on the road when the crowd gets a little rowdy. But we knew something was missing in our comedy scene and wanted to do something about it.
“At its core, comedy was built for men by men, and so in order to inform anyone else that they’re welcome in that space, sometimes you have to do a little extra,” Mackey said. “It’s not a criticism on a space and a system that’s been in place for so long. It’s more just like, how do we disrupt these patterns that everyone’s already so comfortable with to make sure we can bring in new voices and new perspectives that are often underrepresented.”
Mackey starts her set by saying she’s sorry. “I’m not sure what for, but I am a woman and I haven’t said it in like, 30 minutes.”
Des Moines has proved that crowds want to hear what women have to say. Our women’s comedy collective put on our first show in January and it was standing room-only in xBk’s cozy Annex space, with a waiting list. Women joked about parenting, their inner fears, their sexuality.
“I’m a lesbian,” said Maggie Fitzpatrick in her set. The crowd clapped – loudly. “Thank you, that’s not how my grandma responded.”
Mandy Hurley, who did her first show with the Bit by Bit crew, noted during her set that it was “nice to be welcomed as a female comic.”
“It’s a hard industry to break into, giving us equitable … holy s— are we DEI? We are going to get closed down.”
Mackey said paid shows have a more diverse audience than open mics, which is where comedians go to test out new material.
“A lot of producers struggle with finding a good variety of energies, because straight white men have a lot of the same stories, and sometimes a lot of the same perspectives on those stories, so people with nuanced information and experiences can bring a different level of energy to the crowd,” she said. “And yeah, it’s just always fun to see that translated to a show.”
What sort of topics are women tackling on stage? Well, I would encourage you to go to a paid show and find out, but here’s a taste: They are talking about sexual empowerment. Pleasure. Gender identity. Being a woman in comedy. Age – being young, and being old. AI. After-school specials from the 1980s.
Mackey recalled how the free writing workshops encourage women to verbalize their ideas. First in a circle of women sitting in the living-room-like setting of the Annex, then amplified, on a mic.
“I feel like I’ve seen students come in there for the very first time in the workshop, kind of like, ‘I don’t know if this is anything, but here’s my idea,’ we all just amp them up and now [that] they’re doing shows, they get to be loud and silly,” she said. “And like, taking up space is such a new and exciting thing.”
Thompson pointed out that this brand of comedy we’re pushing – with women’s voices attached to it – also contains vulnerability and reflection.
“Like [one comedian] was really digging deep last weekend on not just kink, but like relationship to religious trauma and … what is healing for her,” Thompson said. “And it was really lovely. So I think that [is a] safer place to explore things that are more personal.”
Thompson also noted the comedians she’s seen grow on stage, going to the women’s workshops but attending open mics and getting friend groups in their own right. She mentioned one comedian who swapped sets with another male comedian, roasting him in the process.
When women start integrating themselves into the comedy scene as a whole, things change for the better. Typically comics measure and pay attention to how many laughs they get for their jokes. If women don’t laugh – or do – it sends a message.
Thompson, who jokes that dating after divorce is like shopping at a thrift store – “everything has something messed up about it” – said she often sits in front at one of the open mics and the producer there praised her for it.
“Because then when people are saying that’s like, sexist stuff, they have to look you in the eye,” she recalled. “So even just having women in the audience of the open mic in some numbers changes what the feedback is that the comics are getting.”
If this sounds intriguing to you, check out a Bit by Bit show. Our next one is scheduled for March 20 at the xBk Annex. Follow their website for updates.
