Guest column: The identity tug of war: How personal seasons of life can affect our professional brand
By Kate Banasiak, president and CEO, Diversified Management Services
I’ve always been told that a strong professional brand must be consistent and clear, signaling expertise that doesn’t change. However, for me and many other women, our personal lives are anything but static. Our changing personal seasons can conflict with the consistency constraints of our professional brand in a way that our male colleagues often don’t have to navigate.
For many young women in the workforce, the excitement of a new ring and planning a wedding also comes with the need for a potential professional rebrand. For years, women build their network and reputation around their maiden name, attaching their entire digital and print footprint to something that may change. Becoming more frequent each year, more brides nearing their wedding day are deciding that the emotional joy of becoming a Mrs. with a new last name may not be worth the professional cost of confusing clients and the network they’ve built during their “Miss” season of life.
For many women, it can feel like an unfair choice to choose between honoring a major personal milestone while safeguarding a professional brand that they have worked hard to build. Those women who do adopt the “Mrs.” title can sometimes be met with immediate changes and unconscious bias from colleagues. Instead of being asked about professional goals and aspirations, questions can change to future family plans and suggest shifting priorities, even when women are still fully dedicated to building their professional careers.
Perhaps the toughest season of life to navigate is for the women who have gone from Miss to Mrs. and then to Ms. Even for women simply trying to find a neutral middle ground, it can bring questions that seem to hang in the air: What does it mean? Is she divorced? Is she trying to make a statement?
Somehow, we are made to carry our entire history in the meaning of these simple letters. A personal season of life that can sometimes conflict with the professional brand we have worked so hard to build.
On the flip side, our male colleagues are simply “Mr.” all the way from their very first job interview until their retirement. Their title doesn’t give away the personal season of life they are in, or the roller coaster of life they may be experiencing outside of work. Their title and season of life takes a back seat, not like ours that are on full display in the signature of an email.
I, like many women I’m sure, hope my professional identity is defined by my professional accomplishments and contributions to clients and their success. Let’s work together to support women through all seasons of life. We work to model the way, by being an ally or a voice for good by normalizing it when they aren’t in the room to others or if it comes up. Simple factual responses or curiosity are usually an easy way to do this, for example saying something like “Oh yes, make sure we have all of our documents correct for how they want us to professionally address them.” Then follow their lead on how they would like to be addressed. It can be hard to remember a name change, so support that by practicing it, asking how it’s pronounced, etc., so you can make sure that it is used properly among colleagues
Let’s celebrate women for their professional accomplishments free of stereotypes derived from the title ahead of their name.
Kate Banasiak is president and CEO of Diversified Management Services. She leads the company’s strategic direction and client growth. During her time at DMS, Banasiak has expanded the company’s nonprofit service offerings and market presence. She actively participates in industry associations and community organizations, sharing her expertise through volunteer leadership and mentorship programs. Banasiak lives on a farm with her husband, two of their three kids, their golden retriever and a whole gaggle of chickens. She’s passionate about upleveling females to be able to have whatever career they envision.
