How Patricia Barbee helps middle school girls become who they are meant to be
Patricia Barbee has worked with children her entire career, but she noticed a dearth of services for middle school-aged kids when she began substitute teaching for Des Moines Public Schools.
“Elementary school programs get funding, high school programs get funding. Middle school is like the land of the lost. Who cares for these children?” Barbee said.
She decided it would be her. After hearing students complain about not fitting in to existing clubs or sports teams, Barbee created “Project Bridging,” a nonprofit organization “dedicated to bridging the gap between potential and opportunity for females from underserved communities” through learning experiences and fellowship.
The organization serves girls aged 11 to 19 in the Des Moines metro area, and Barbee estimates the group has involved hundreds of girls since it began in 2022. Programming aims to support a positive sense of self for participants, something Barbee said many kids don’t have access to.
“Everyone isn’t a scholar, everyone isn’t an athlete. These young ladies need practice to become who they can become,” Barbee said. “Project Bridging is a foundation for them to see opportunity and have hands-on learning experiences, to say that I did this for myself, and this is for me.”
Believing in what’s possible
Barbee wants the girls in her group to feel how her mother made her feel: loved, respected and understood.
“I treat them the way my mother treated me when she was raising me,” she said. “We have a mutual respect. I know what it was like to have an understanding parent, and I want to be understanding to them.”
She models that mutual respect by meeting her girls where they’re at and allowing them to be themselves, while asking them to hold themselves to a higher standard.
“I want you to be yourself all the time, but I want you to understand that there are certain things that are acceptable in certain settings,” Barbee said.
The participants in Project Bridging come from all walks of life and different schools within the metro. The only requirements are being within the ages of 11 and 19 and being born female.
Barbee designs the programming to include both traditional and non-traditional learning. September is sexual health month, and with parental permission, students learned about keeping themselves safe and caring for themselves and their friends. They read books and finish assignments that highlight the lessons in the text. They have a mock trial planned and invited a retired judge and a lawyer to join them.
Project Bridging also hosts several events for the girls to practice their social and emotional skills. They have an annual tea party, where the girls dress professionally and meet with and learn from different generations of women. They host a Christmas party where they use Secret Santa as practice for getting to know someone else’s likes and needs. “Friends-giving” is a time to come together and bond while also working together to complete a task.
“There’s always a moral behind the things that we’re doing,” she said.
Barbee said the programming continues to evolve as more girls join the group, but she feels limited without a permanent space.
“Without a space, we can’t meet and do as much as I want. If we had a space, we could have movie time and see movies that bring people together and show sisterhood,” she said. “If I had a building, I would open that building every day. I want to give them more opportunities.”
Barbee is learning right alongside her girls as she builds her nonprofit and fundraises for the future. She has big dreams for her organization.
She recently divided the girls into committees to begin working on community service projects. She hopes to take field trips to the University of Iowa and Iowa State University so the girls can tour the campuses. She hopes to eventually travel with them to the Disney World Imagination Campus for leadership classes.
“I want them to see it. I want them to hear it and I want them to be in it so that they can have a hands-on experience and say, ‘This is for me,’” said Barbee. “A lot of people don’t believe that things are possible because it has not happened to them and they did not see it firsthand.”
Character, leadership and service
Each aspect of the programming allows the participants time and space to practice being in community with one another and exercise the organization’s pillars — character, leadership and service.
Barbee said she’s building a culture of community and understanding.
“The goal of the programming is to work on the holistic person, from the social/emotional to how we handle things, each other and ourselves,” she said. “I want them to be in a setting with other people, especially women, and understand that no one is jealous of you. You have a light that shines and that you can shine it on someone else when they don’t have the strength to do so.”
Sisterhood and friendship are a point of emphasis for Barbee. Her girls come from cultures from all over the world. She has girls with all different types of abilities and experiences. She hopes to help them build positive relationships with one another before some of the competitive behaviors adolescent girls often experience set in.
“I try to show them that you may not like someone, you may have a misunderstanding, but that’s not the end of the world,” Barbee said. “You don’t have to like someone. You need to respect them. I make them protect each other. It is a family. We have to stick together. We have to know not to be messy or mean. Everybody needs somebody. I try to teach them on a daily basis that this is how you treat people. This is how you form true friendship.”
Barbee continues to substitute teach while managing her nonprofit, so she’s able to interact with her students throughout the day, too. She witnessed leaps and bounds of change in the girls that have participatedin Project Bridging. Because so many of her girls come from disadvantaged backgrounds, she knows she’s providing resources that frequently aren’t accessible to everyone.
“I see behavior changes and grade improvements. Parents of girls who are thanking me for caring for their children when they’re not around,” Barbee said. “That’s why it’s bridging. We stand in the gap. We’re filling the gap of things that cannot be met.”
Most importantly, Barbee sees what happens to a young girl when they feel seen and respected, when they are allowed to feel their feelings and pursue whatever they put their minds to.
They become unstoppable.
“I’m screaming your name,” Barbee said. “I’m rooting for you. I am your biggest fan because I want you to know I see you, and I see what you are, and I see how good you can be. You need to see it.”
