As told to Macey Shofroth | Photo by Duane Tinkey

Aime Wichtendahl made history when she was elected to the Hiawatha City Council and became the first openly transgender elected official in Iowa in 2015. 

She made history again when she was elected to the Iowa House of Representatives and became the state’s first openly transgender lawmaker. 

She was then a part of history once more when Iowa became the first state to remove gender identity from its Civil Rights Act. In her first term, she spoke against a bill she felt directly targeted people just like her. 

Wichtendahl grew up in Newhall, Iowa. She has one son. She sat down with Fearless to share what it was like to experience the passing of that law and her hopes for the future of Iowa. 

The following story has been formatted to be entirely in her words, and has been edited and condensed for clarity.

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This year, when the Iowa Legislature removed gender identity from the Iowa Civil Rights Act, it felt deeply personal. 

It was both extremely unnecessary and it was really just the power of the government acting to target its own citizens. Me, as a trans woman, and any other people in the trans community, my friends and family, are potentially being targeted to lose their jobs, to lose their homes. I know what it’s like to lose my home. And I can’t believe that anybody thinks that’s remotely OK to pass laws that are a license to discriminate. 

That week was probably the hardest week in my life in 20 years, without any doubt.

The week before, right around the 20th of February, I ran to my apartment and realized I left something back at the Capitol. As a representative, you can keep a flag flown over the Capitol, either the U.S. flag or the Iowa flag, and present that as a gift to anyone. So it was a gift to my partner. I was giving her the Iowa flag that had flown over her birthday. 

Dean, who was one of our Democratic House staff, met me by the entrance and was like, “You need to go talk to Rep. Jennifer Konfrst.” I already knew what this was, no words needed to be said. There were always rumors about this that came up early in the session. We were getting close enough to funnel that I was really hoping that this wasn’t going to happen.

Jennifer told me straight up, “Steve Holt filed this bill this afternoon. They’re going to run with it.” And I said, “Well, what do we need to do?”

We talked it through, and she’s like, “I just want to be clear that if you don’t want to, if it’s too much, you don’t have to do anything. We will go out there and fight for you.” 

I said, “No, obviously, I’m going to go out there and fight for them. Because I have one thing that other people don’t, and that’s a microphone. It’s my duty to speak up for people who are affected from this bill and it’s my responsibility to fight for them.” 

So I called my clerk, Cat Pollard, and said, “I need you to come back to the Capitol.” We worked on social media posts about what was happening. I remember talking with other Republicans who were still in the chamber that day, and it was clear that this was going to be a wall. They were going to toe the party line on this. And that sucked. It sucked so bad. 

I don’t understand how you can’t see that we are people and that nobody deserves to be discriminated against. And I’m sorry, your arguments to the contrary that this is about protecting women’s spaces like sports and bathrooms? There’s nothing about sports and bathrooms in this bill. You’re specifically targeting us because you want to do worse. Like I said on the floor, you want to make our existence illegal. 

I posted things, and I did cry. Normally, by that point, I should have been back home. It was like 8 p.m., and at that point I was still in the Capitol. I just lost it. Going through that next week, it was like being in a daze after being sucker punched. It was very hard for me to focus. This was consuming all of my mental energy and stamina. I knew I had to say something, but I couldn’t figure out what it was exactly that I wanted to say. 

There was an open question of whether or not the Republicans had the necessary votes to get this across the finish line. The majority leader, Rep. Matt Windschitl, prepared two calendars for that day – basically one full of non-controversial bills if they don’t have the votes and one that will only be this bill, and we will know by Wednesday. Wednesday morning, the calendar drops, and that’s the only bill on it. 

I’ve heard there were significant amounts of opposition within the Republican caucus about this bill. You did have a couple Republicans come out very early and very against it. But some of their leadership really twisted arms, from what I understand. They basically said, “If you don’t vote for this, we won’t run your bills.” Especially for the freshmen, it was, “If you vote against this, we’re not going to advance you in committee members or we might consider finding people to primary you.”

My partner, Claire, told me she’d come down if I needed her there. I told her yes, I need you to be here. My mental health was terrible that week. I was finding it really hard to do just basic things. I even texted my mom and said, “Would you and Dad be willing to come to the Capitol on Thursday? Because it’s going to be a hard day.” 

There was an attempted amendment from about 10 Republicans to try to keep gender identity within the specific parts like employment, education, credit in the Civil Rights Act. But they got hit hard Wednesday night from lobbying groups, so they withdrew those amendments. 

That Monday, it was the first subcommittee for the bill, which is the part that’s open to the public so anyone can come and testify. For bills like this, they’re highly choreographed. I decided to sit in on that subcommittee hearing. Just having to listen to the blatant lies, the slander, the stereotypes leveled at trans people in general – it’s just hard to hear that much hate. You’re hurting people you’ve never met. You’re forming opinions based on ignorance. I guessed none of them knew anyone who’s transgender or heard what it is to even go through that process. But I know that they hate us. That was hard to hear. 

I had to leave slightly early and go to a press conference immediately after on child care and things of that nature. It was all overshadowed by this. I said to the press, “These are the things we could be working on and if you really want to help women out, maybe do some of these things. Stop the key jangling of the culture wars.” 

Wednesday, I remember trying to sit down and write the remarks I was going to give. I can get a little fiery when I give speeches. So it was like, what am I going to give? One that’s really fiery? One that’s really passionate? I’m just failing at writing this thing. I type a million things and nothing sticks, nothing’s coherent. The House Minority Whip, Brian Meyer, told me they were going to have me speak last and give me the last word on it. He said I should go up there and basically say, “I’m human,” and that gave me the direction to go with that speech. I basically titled the speech, “The Speech I Never Wanted to Give.” 

I just did not sleep that night. Not even a wink. We arrived at the Capitol and it was already packed, there were hundreds of people in the rotunda. You saw a lot of very, very passionate protestors. There’s still a few that stick with me. There was a young trans boy who was there on his 18th birthday begging lawmakers not to take away his civil rights. I told him, “You should be doing literally anything else on your birthday. You shouldn’t have to be here today. None of us should have to be here today.”

We all decided we were going to go out there and fight and say what we needed to say and do what we needed to do. Before the House debate started, I went up to the gallery and got a hug from my mom and dad and Claire. If they hadn’t been there, I don’t know that I would have made it through that day. 

I’m still very proud of our caucus for how we fought that day. I was running on little sleep, a lot of adrenaline and just a lot of emotions. To be honest, I don’t even remember giving that speech.  I’ve watched it a lot since then, but I only remember a couple moments from it. I remember crying and wiping my eyes. 

The bill went back to the bill manager for closing remarks and I had to leave the floor or else I felt like I was going to just start shouting. I walked around the rotunda. I had to stay close by for when they opened for voting. I voted by giving it a straight thumbs down. There were a lot of commiserations afterwards going into that weekend. I wanted to be able to step away, and I really didn’t get that chance because once that’s done, it was going to the governor’s desk. There were requests for a lot of interviews and media. It was hard that following Monday to want to drive back. I remember telling Claire, “Nothing would give them more pleasure than to see me go away or to see me not stand back up. So you know what? I’m going to go back there because they don’t want me to be there. And I’m going to keep fighting and keep doing the job that I was elected to do, and I’m going to keep fighting until we can undo this terrible bill.”

Coming into this session, I didn’t anticipate this. This bill came up in the previous session and it died hard. I even testified at that committee because I was still on the city council. All the indications coming into the session was that they’d probably run something, because they almost always do. But I thought, based on where the trajectory was going, it was sure to be the anti-drag bill. 

It felt a lot like trying to justify your basic existence and your rights as a human being, while this court of people, who are bound and determined to see you as lesser, try to strip away all vestiges of humanity. It’s a weird dynamic, too, because most people are generally polite and respectful. At least there’s some kind of decorum. But it’s also a weird situation where it’s polite, but at the end of the day, they’re going to do this. 

I was wanting to represent the city that I love, my hometown, in the Iowa legislature. And I still believe in this state. I still believe that Iowans are fundamentally a fair people, and I also believe that this moment in history is not permanent. Change is still possible. That’s what keeps me going, that belief that we can be better than we are now. Let’s make sure we get people who are really invested in making the state a better place to live in and fixing the issues that Iowans want fixed. 

There are days I sit in the chamber and think, “I can’t believe I’m here.” This has been the culmination of an entire dream come true. Even through the bad stuff, I’m still happy to be there. I’m still excited to do this work. 

Right now, where we are is probably going to be one of the darkest periods. But this doesn’t last forever. My message to people is that the greatest act of rebellion you can do right now is to be unafraid to live your life and live your life happily. I know it’s not easy. I transitioned in 2006 when there were really not a lot of support groups or affirming care. Along the way, I found my friends, I found my community. I found my life. We stand together because there’s always strength in unity. Be unafraid to live your life and you will find happiness.