Why gender equity in Iowa has to include LGBTQ+ kids
By Zachary Rus, guest contributor
Growing up in Northwest Iowa, I learned a skill no kid should need: How to walk into a room and quickly determine who was safe and who was not. I managed my voice, hands and interests to avoid standing out. I always remained watchful. My story shows why gender equity in Iowa must include LGBTQ+ youth, who learn to navigate safety and belonging daily.
That vigilance meant constant, careful choices. I did everything to avoid being a target.
I spent years learning to be less than myself, and that vigilance lingers. Now, leading an LGBTQ+ youth organization, I still see careful kids across Iowa quietly calculating whether today is a day they can relax.
This isn’t just my story. The anxiety, sleepless nights and despair my team hears about from LGBTQ+ youth each week are real. Many, especially transgender and nonbinary kids, become experts at making themselves smaller. Too many quietly wonder if things would be easier if they weren’t here. They often find little help available.
These kids are not broken. Research shows LGBTQ+ youth aren’t at higher risk because of who they are. They are at higher risk because of how they’re treated. As Jaymes Black of The Trevor Project says, they struggle more with the world’s reactions than with their identities.
It’s harder to identify these students in the data. In 2023, Iowa passed a law barring schools from asking about sexual orientation or gender identity. We are challenging this in court, but with less information, these youths are more likely to go unnoticed.
So when the state stopped asking, we started. Our Student Experience Survey found that more than 80% of LGBTQ+ and allied students in Iowa reported that recent laws directly affected them, including being forced to hide their identities, losing access to resources or limiting what they say in class. About one-third reported hiding their identity and avoiding staff due to fear. Over 80% also reported losing access to books with positive LGBTQ representation. Nearly half of transgender and nonbinary students said they cannot use their chosen name or pronouns at school, and 40% reported avoiding restrooms altogether.
The Trevor Project’s 2024 survey found that over half of LGBTQ+ youth in Iowa said they faced discrimination last year, and 20% said they experienced threats or harm. Half reported considering leaving Iowa in response to anti-LGBTQ+ policies. For many respondents, school was described as the least safe place.
This is personal, too. My nephew is growing up openly gay in the same part of Iowa where I learned to hide. He gets to be out in a way I never could. He still notices what gets said, what’s avoided and where he’s only tolerated.
Recently, my nephew told me he had a crush but chose not to act on it. For queer and trans kids, even ordinary experiences are clouded by safety concerns, intensifying what should be simple moments.
He has support I never had, but moments still cost him. Attentiveness is survival, not fragility.
Helping some kids helps all of them
Sometimes I pick up on a quiet worry underneath these conversations. People fear that paying more attention to LGBTQ+ kids means paying less attention to everyone else. I understand it. I have watched it work the other way around.
When schools get safer for LGBTQ+ students, they get safer for everyone. Gender and sexuality alliances (GSAs) reduce bullying for all. Even one accepting adult can lower suicide risk in LGBTQ+ youth. Julie, my high school counselor, was that person for me. Most of us can name someone. Supporting the most vulnerable helps build a better place for all.
This is a gender equity story
Fearless approaches gender equity through an intersectional lens. I would put LGBTQ+ young people near the center of that work, not on the sidelines.
Many LGBTQ+ youth are also girls or young women. Lesbian, bisexual, pansexual, queer and transgender girls make up a significant part of Iowa’s youth. Overlapping identities like race or disability add to marginalization. Gender equity must include girls with intersecting identities, not treat them as secondary concerns.
The deeper reason is one I felt long before I had words for it. Pressure told me, as a boy, how to walk and talk and what I was allowed to like. It’s not far from the pressure that tells a girl she is too loud or too ambitious. Both come from the same place — a set of rules about who you can be based on your body. A lot of gender equity work is rethinking those rules. You cannot change them for some, keep them for others and call the job done.
Intersectionality means people don’t experience one piece of themselves at a time. A queer or trans girl of color lives where pressures cross. Rethinking the rules gives everyone more room. That includes the straight, cisgender girl who wants to be taken seriously.
What the kids actually asked for
The best advice comes from the kids. Ninety percent of LGBTQ+ youth said support means being believed when they share who they are. Over 80% said it matters when adults speak up.
Be the adult who helps kids feel accepted. Keep learning, and support your local GSA. Policy changes matter. When the LGBTQ+ youth option on the national 988 crisis line was shut down, the impact was immediately felt by young people.
I urge you to be present, speak up and stand with these kids. Support your local school, actively advocate for policies that protect all students and remember: Every action, no matter how small, makes a difference. Now is the time to show up boldly for every kid in Iowa.
For my nephew, and for all of Iowa’s kids
Despite these challenges, 60% of LGBTQ+ youth in Iowa reported that their communities are accepting. This demonstrates resilience and shows that positive change is possible if adults are willing to support it. Any Iowa community can be a place where a young person is safe and fully themselves.
LGBTQ+ inclusion and gender equity go hand in hand. Both are about giving every child the safety and freedom to become their authentic self. I hope the next generation can enter any room without wondering if they belong. Let’s build communities where everyone is truly welcome.
To make real progress, take action now: Support an LGBTQ+ young person, attend a Pride event, start an open conversation or seek out more information. Every step you take helps build an Iowa where every child is visible and safe. Let’s create genuine inclusion together — your involvement is vital.
Zach Rus is the executive director of Iowa Safe Schools, a statewide nonprofit serving LGBTQ+ youth. Zach grew up in Northwest Iowa and graduated from Simpson College. His focus on creating spaces, places and support for youth drives his work locally and statewide.
